Where are we going wrong?

It's astonishing that we get the same results to the same set of questions year a f t e r ye a r. Should women work? Does women's work affect the care of the home? Is it difficult for men to work under a female boss? The answers to all: a resounding 'yes' from men, irrespective of age and class.

Men still want women to multitask—80 % of all men surveyed thought women were good at multitasking and expected them to do this, and assumed women would keep the home clean. Only 5% of men in the householder age category swept the home, for example.

The men surveyed are educated and privileged. My classroom is composed of such young men and women. And among this set of young men in the tricity area of Delhi, Gurgaon, and Noida, 65% don't think it's a good idea for women to go out in the evening, and 89% don't approve of women clubbing. Is it because they know this tri-city area is a danger zone? Do they fear their own male friends or colleagues could become violent? Do they understand the compact of silence that surrounds male violence and know that to speak of it will have terrible consequences for them?

Where did I and my colleagues who teach and hear young men every day of our working lives go wrong? Have we shut out the possible ways of discussing the issue of male violence and men as perpetrators? If I ask the young men in my tutorial group when they last stopped a classmate from leering at a girl, can I hope to hear instances when any one of them heard a scream and ran to help? Or will I still hear a deafening silence that defeats the very purpose of being modern?