"There is nothing unusual in this, all of us handle housework," says Arvind , who works as a filmmaker and facilitator with an NGO, Community Aid and Sponsorship Program (CASP). This progressive thinking is at odds with the attitudes in the rest of the Sangam Vihar community to which Arvind belongs.
Arvind was among the hundreds of youngsters who were part of the Bal Panchayat programme in Sangam Vihar started by CASP back in 1993 along with the Plan India. The project encourages young girls and boys of the locality to interact freely and bring an attitudinal change in how they perceive each other. It has now moved from Sangam Vihar to Badarpur and former trainees like Arvind and Suraj have now turned facilitators for the programme , training over 800 children in Badarpur and Madanpur Khadar.
"We discuss issues such as gender, safety and sexuality and this has made us very different from the other youth our age in this locality. It's changed our attitude towards girls and women. It's even changed the way we think of ourselves," says Suraj Aggarwal, 22, another participant in the project who lives in Badarpur.
The extent to which the interactions have changed mindsets is clear from Arvind's take on his sister's future. She wasn't keen on studying further but he insisted that she take on a professional course to become financially independent. "She loves cooking. So I have suggested that she pursue a diploma course in cooking or hotel management so that she can get a job doing what she loves," says Arvind.
Though their thinking is quite enlightened , Arvind and Suraj say they can understand why young men often prevent their sisters from veturing out to study or work. "A few people still talk rubbish if they see a girl coming home after tuitions with a male classmate . It is also common knowledge that many boys talk insultingly about girls and sometimes misbehave with them. It is difficult to hear taunts about your sister," says Suraj.
But they are categorical that the boys they work with will have a more balanced view about gender roles and are unlikely to ever harass girls. "Boys don't know how to behave with girls because they are segregated most times. So they either ignore them altogether or harass them. Studying, playing together and talking to each other help them develop a healthy camaraderie," says Suraj.
Few gender programmes involve men or engage them in the gender equality discussion which is why Plan India chose to make men a large part of its Because I am a Girl campaign . "The stereotype is that caring for children is women's work. Appealing to their concern for their children is one way of getting them more involved in the home and housework. If a child grows up seeing the father taking care and being more engaged at home, that child grows up emulating the behavior," explains Bhagyashri Dengle, executive director of Plan India. She has seen entire localities change through the children in Bal Panchayats as they grow up and mentor the younger ones and influence their families.
Living within the communities, Arvind and Suraj know that attitudinal change cannot happen overnight. But they also believe that change is inevitable. "We don't see marriage as a route to finding someone to do our housework. We can manage that very well ourselves. It will be about finding someone to share our lives. After all, two incomes will also mean better lives for our children," says Arvind.
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